i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
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First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize