I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
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