I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
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Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
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I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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