In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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