I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Shame - the story of my life.
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