Duck Duck Cougar?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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