That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
