my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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