Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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