Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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