my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
