I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
