Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
