well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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