it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
