I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
