i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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