peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
