i may or may not be watching the land before time
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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