i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
