no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
