Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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