Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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