just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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