why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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