Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
