Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize