32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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