The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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