AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize