That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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