so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
