I can tuck mytits in my pants
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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