idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
