You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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