mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sext me about skeletons
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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