I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
