how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
