is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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