Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
