so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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