didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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