My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize