I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
