Apparently you make a good broom.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
