when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
