is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
