theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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