Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
