it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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