My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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