And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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