T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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