his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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