I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
