is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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